Pre-Apocalypse or Life Transformation?

New decade, new beginnings.
New decade, new PM.
New decade, new... V I R U S ???? 

WHOOPS.. Didn't see that coming at all.

OH WELP.

WELCOME TO THE NEW AGE OF LIVING.

This whole COVID 19 pandemic has seemingly become a worldwide phenomenon and with still no cure on the rise, this has been known as the war against an invisible enemy.
It may not be anything or anywhere close to how World War I and II appeared to be, knowing how silent this strain killer is but as we gradually adapt ourselves towards this new lifestyle as a norm day by day, the fear and anticipation towards the unknown unfolds. 

After much ignorance and idiocy among the human race towards mother nature from generations after generations, this contagious virus practically disrupted globalisation, sweeping off almost half the population of the human race across the globe. With lesser traffics on roads alongside to the significant reduction of air and noise pollution and more wild animals randomly showing up on the streets, could this possibly be signifying a reset button to humanity once and for all, after all the past traces of human destruction we've caused and left behind in this world? 

With all the surprising twists of tainted truth that has happened in 2020 so far, comes along an unexpected welcome of a new age of Industrial Revolution in this modern era of living. 

What underlying message is God conveying to us through this virus? If He really does love us all as his children then, how and why is this happening?
Some claimed this virus is a doing from the devil. Some even claimed this is the Second Coming of Christ. There is possibly a million and one answers to this in which only He himself only knows. 
My hunger for knowledge in Christ could never be more immense than before lately given the sense and strong urge to seek out for more answers from God relentlessly through prayers, not to mention my willingness to listen to sermon talks and to read the Bible almost daily more than before to discover more about the faith and unanswered questions about Christianity to why, how and what is happening. 
Ultimately, only time tells it all depending on our approach and view towards it.

Another day of quarantine at home,
Another ordinary day of unpredictable mood swings and unforeseeable events like any other.

Time unimaginably flew like a speed of rocket.
Relationships with the current and long lost flourished exponentially.
Feelings began to be desensitised.
Routines gradually became dull.
Physical connections got vague.
Poor nations becoming impoverished. 
Economies collapsing and facing turnovers.

As days gradually passes by with more days being stuck at home, I am coming to understand more that COVID 19 could somewhat be a blessing more than a curse. Not only is it a reality check to know what to expect what's ahead in life, but it provides us more time to self reflect upon ourselves thus realising how grateful we are towards meeting and fulfilling our daily essential basic simple living needs like food and shelter. It is also a good measure towards managing and utilising our time wisely at home, allowing us to discover useful skills from home in which we can apply upon ourselves, such as picking up new lessons on social media marketing for my business and attempting new baking recipes. 

As realistically hopeful as I am to how those can improve my life skills and shape my character towards maturity and growth, something's still hollow within me knowing that our stricken social lives will never be the same again after this pandemic when all of this is even over. 

For most of us including someone like me who enjoys hanging out and meeting new people and being surrounded with friends in a physical context, this has definitely been the biggest major struggle especially when it comes to maintaining a relationship with someone you love. As an introvert myself, I for one could probably still somewhat conform to the idea of coping without human interactions with others for probably a month or so but I knew myself well enough that I will struggle a lot living without any physical contact with him given the amount of times I've spent with him on a normal daily basis just being by his side. 

With no physical contact being involved, it could only mean that there will be no intimacy. As love connections are becoming a LDR now, this is probably a good ultimate test to the strength of deeper connections mentally and emotionally with a partner other than just purely for sex and flings thus allowing relationships in future to adapt to this norm for better genuine, meaningful connections. 

And that itself struck me hard the most. 

I think the biggest lesson I have learned most during quarantine is managing my emotional independence because the most challenging part to LDR during quarantine is maintaining the bond of togetherness. Apart from engaging through video calls, I have been yearning and depriving for his physical love and attention for the longest time to make myself feel complete as a whole. During this quarantine period, we have not seen each other physically in person literally for almost more than a month and that itself has been the longest time we've been away and apart from each other in our dating history. As a highly sensitive person myself, I can't deny that my emotional needs hit rock bottom big time throughout that time frame. It was painfully difficult to keep it and hold my emotions together. 

Positive quotes were simply easier said than done. Most days despite even after drilling those words into my thoughts, it was inevitable not to experience that mental breakdown for no particular reason.  The capacity to drift from reality and float distantly from feelings and emotions in a cloudy mental state of mind intensifies. The dreaminess intensifies as the fear of the unknown seeps through my veins under my skin given every countdown of the days till the uncertain day of freedom.  Not only did it affect and turned my mood 360 but it also took my anxiety level to another whole new level.
Imagine your brain being clogged or being trapped in a state of unconsciousness while your state of mind is floating with your physical self being stuck in present. One moment felt as if there's a mental block detaching my mind far from the physical soul and its own state of feelings and emotions. Another moment felt as if everything just clicked all right back to square one in its place. As the days slipped by with longer days being trapped inside, it felt visually more like a realistic dream with inevitable agony along to every ticking seconds where you just not wanna move an inch but just float blankly eternally into space. There were certain moments of claustrophobia and suffocation where you just felt stuck and stagnant. 

That one month was literally the worst tormenting mental tolling period of my life. 

There were days where I felt capable of getting through the day on my own with the knack of learning new skills and keeping up with productive chores.
There were also other most days where I just overthink easily, procrastinate easily and get distracted easily by the external noises and surroundings around me at home. 

In spite of how clingy I am, the longer I distanced myself from him, the more I not only realised how much of space, time and freedom I had for myself, but I became more focus and aware of myself, my past mistakes thus the importance of self love. 

With lesser physical interactions in the outside world and with more days being trapped inside at home, it came to my realisation to how importantly impactful social media is today more than before in this everlasting changing economy. Not only does it help to facilitate our social meetings and social groups online, but it also helps to bring us all closer throughout the nation, be it whether is keeping in touch with our current friends or reaching out back to our long lost friends. Its a good test to some of my friendships as well, knowing who are the friends who genuinely cares for me and prioritises me in their main circle and who constantly reaches out and keeps in contact with me. With that being said, I could never be more clingy to my technological devices and social medias more than before, when we're forced to remain indoors and do nothing more but to scroll aimlessly on our phones.

On a side note: With the association to the power of social media today and more reliance to our digital technologies, similar content ideas are being copied and shared out. Will this eventually lead to lack of creation to original ideas from one thus the extinction of creativity skills within ourselves?

The concept of social distancing works and applies for some of us who probably held grudges among each other for the longest time as well. As a person myself who highly supports the idea of togetherness and peace among people, I shall be eternally grateful to how this crisis can mold our identities and reshape our strength in humanity for the better of our future lives.

With this lock down being prolonged and the implementation idea of social distancing, it is visually feasible to observe the transitions in our daily living behavioural patterns just by remaining trapped at home, shifting the paradigm of our mentality and picture of the world, shaping our mindsets for the positive whether for the better or worse depending on the individual who is willing to evolve, embrace and move forward in life.

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